I grew up in Hamilton, Ontario, and attended Cardinal Newman Catholic Secondary School. From a young age, I knew that I experienced the world differently. Living with a learning disability and developmental challenges, I had an Individual Education Plan (IEP) throughout elementary school, high school, and into college. Academically, socially, and emotionally, I often felt as though I did not fit the mold that everyone else seemed expected to fit into.

I was naturally feminine, soft-hearted, energetic, expressive, and sensitive. Those qualities were simply part of who I was, but growing up, they often made me an easy target. Throughout my school years, I experienced bullying in many forms, including isolation, exclusion, name-calling, humiliation, and physical bullying. There were moments when I felt victimized simply for being different, and over time I learned to hide certain parts of myself because being noticed could sometimes mean becoming a target.

Living with a learning disability added another layer to those experiences. Having an IEP sometimes made me feel separated from my classmates or as though I was somehow behind everyone else. What I understand today is that learning differently never meant I was less intelligent, less capable, or less deserving of opportunity. At the time, however, I did not always have the confidence or understanding to see it that way.

As I became older and began going out socially, I started discovering parts of myself that I had spent years trying to understand. In my mid-20s, I came out as bisexual. At the same time, I began allowing more of the feminine person inside of me to become visible. I experimented with makeup, nail polish, fashion, and other forms of self-expression that made me feel more connected to myself.

Coming out to my family as bisexual was not an easy experience. My sexuality and feminine expression were not initially understood or accepted in the way I needed them to be. I was repeatedly questioned about why I could be attracted to both men and women and was told that I needed to choose one or the other. There were also messages that makeup and nail polish were for women or girls and that I should put those things away.

For me, something as simple as wearing nail polish could create tremendous anxiety. There were times when I feared going home because I knew that my appearance could lead to criticism or judgment from my father. Before entering the house, I would sometimes remove my nail polish, makeup, or other feminine expression because I wanted to avoid conflict.

My mother would often remind me that I needed to respect my parents’ boundaries and avoid upsetting my father. At the time, I struggled deeply with that because I felt that respecting those expectations meant removing pieces of myself simply to walk through my own front door. I often felt as though I was walking on eggshells, constantly thinking about what I was wearing, how I looked, what I said, and whether something about me would create tension in the home.

That experience brought frustration, sadness, and anger that I did not always know how to communicate appropriately. I was still learning about myself, my identity, my emotions, and the world around me. Looking back, I can recognize that I did not always have the maturity, language, emotional regulation, or communication tools to express what I was experiencing in a healthy way.

There were times when I lashed out toward my parents. I distanced myself emotionally, called them names, said hurtful things, and sometimes belittled them because I was frustrated and desperate to feel understood. Those reactions created even more tension inside our home. Today, I can take accountability for those moments without ignoring the pain that I was experiencing at the time.

And I want to make something extremely clear when telling this part of my story: I am not sharing my experiences to belittle, judge, embarrass, blame, or put down my parents.

My parents are the people who brought me into this world, raised me, cared for me, and tried to guide me based on what they understood at the time. I would never want my story to suggest that I hate them, disown them, or want to permanently burn a bridge with them.

With maturity, I have been able to look backward with a much wider perspective.

The type of coaching, support, and emotional understanding I needed growing up may not always have been what my parents knew how to provide. That does not mean that love was absent. I now understand that they were trying to do what they believed was best for me in their own way, with the knowledge, values, experiences, and understanding they had at that point in their lives.

Growing together has also required me to understand the difference between boundaries and abandonment.

There are times when protecting your peace, taking space, or creating healthy distance from someone can be necessary. Boundaries are important. Emotional well-being is important. But one of the lessons I want to teach through FabuBlessed is that conflict does not always have to end with permanently destroying a relationship.

There can be healthier ways of communicating, creating space, seeking support, rebuilding trust, apologizing, forgiving, and reconnecting when it is safe and appropriate to do so.

At the same time, every family situation is different. No young person should ever feel pressured to remain in a relationship or environment that is unsafe. My experience is my own, and part of my advocacy is teaching young people to recognize healthy support systems and reach out to trusted adults when they need help.

I love my mom and dad deeply. I am grateful that as I matured, I became capable of accepting accountability for my own behaviour while also finding forgiveness for the moments that hurt me.

Forgiveness did not mean pretending that nothing happened.

It did not mean saying that every decision was right.

It meant deciding that anger and resentment were not going to control the rest of my life.

My mother and I, especially, have travelled through significant emotional pain, misunderstandings, arguments, frustration, and periods of distance. There were moments when our relationship felt strained and moments when neither of us fully understood what the other person was experiencing.

But that was not the end of our story.

Over time, we began talking differently. We began listening differently. We began understanding one another differently.

And unexpectedly FAB-U-BLESSED became part of that healing journey.

Through my music, my writing, my advocacy, and the platform I am building, I found a way to communicate emotions and experiences that I previously did not know how to explain. Sharing my story has opened conversations between my mother and me that were once extremely difficult to have.

Instead of my platform separating us, in many ways it has helped bring us closer.

We cannot change every moment from the past, but we can decide what we do with those experiences today.

As I continued discovering myself, I eventually understood that my journey went deeper than sexuality alone. After years of questioning, suppressing parts of myself, trying to meet other people’s expectations, and feeling that I needed permission to express who I was, I finally came out as a transgender woman.

That moment represented far more than a label.

It represented finally giving myself permission to live authentically.

For years, I had carried other people’s expectations about who I was supposed to be, how I was supposed to dress, how I was supposed to behave, and what parts of myself were acceptable to show the world. Eventually, hiding became more painful than being seen.

Coming out became a decision to stop shrinking myself for the comfort of other people.

Today, after surviving bullying, isolation, rejection, misunderstanding, family conflict, emotional struggles, and many personal storms, I have made a choice about what those experiences are going to mean.

They are going to become purpose.

That purpose is FAB-U-BLESSED

FabuBlessed is more than a name, organization, or platform to me. It represents everything I wish I could have heard when I was the student sitting in school wondering why being different seemed to make life so difficult.

It is being created to advocate for students experiencing bullying, learning differences, mental-health struggles, identity challenges, exclusion, discrimination, loneliness, or the feeling that they simply do not belong.

My goal is not to tell young people that their families are their enemies.

My goal is not to divide parents and children.

My goal is to create conversations where silence once existed.

I want students to learn healthier ways of communicating emotions, setting boundaries, asking for help, understanding themselves, taking accountability, resolving conflict, and protecting their emotional well-being.

I also want parents to know that it is okay not to understand everything immediately.

If your child is queer, transgender, gender-fluid, questioning their identity, exploring gender expression, or simply becoming someone different from what you originally imagined, you do not need to have every answer on the first day.

Sometimes one of the most powerful things a parent can say is:

“I don’t completely understand yet, but I love you, and I am willing to learn.”

Listen.

Ask respectful questions.

Learn together.

Allow your child to communicate what they are feeling.

Your willingness to understand may matter more than having the perfect words.

And to the student or young person whose parents do not completely understand your identity, emotions, learning needs, or experiences yet: another person’s confusion does not determine your value.

Learning to understand yourself is important too.

Discover what helps you feel safe.

Learn how to communicate what you need.

Find healthy ways of expressing frustration.

Build relationships with trustworthy people who listen to you.

Ask for help when you need it.

Understand your own boundaries.

Take care of your emotional well-being.

And remember that your identity, learning differences, personality, softness, creativity, energy, or individuality are not weaknesses that need to be erased.

Some of the very qualities I once wished I could hide are now the qualities helping me build this movement.

The student who once felt different now wants to advocate for students who feel different.

The person who once struggled to communicate is now building a platform for communication.

The person who once felt silenced is learning how to use her voice.

The person who once thought she needed to remove pieces of herself before walking through a door is now working toward creating spaces where other people can walk through the door exactly as they are.

That is the heart of FAB-U-BLESSED

My story is not about deciding who was completely right and who was completely wrong.

It is a story about growth.

Accountability.

Forgiveness.

Identity.

Family.

Bullying.

Mental health.

Communication.

Acceptance.

Resilience.

And the belief that some of the most painful chapters of our lives can eventually become the chapters that teach us how to help someone else.

Today, I can look at my parents with love. I can look at my past with greater understanding. I can look at my own mistakes with accountability. And I can look toward the future knowing that my experiences have given me a responsibility to use my voice differently.

Through FAB-U-BLESSED, I want every student who has ever been bullied, misunderstood, excluded, learning differently, struggling with their identity, afraid of disappointing someone, or questioning whether they belong to hear this message:

You do not have to fit someone else’s mold to have value.

Your differences do not disqualify you from belonging.

Your experiences can become wisdom.

Your struggles can become purpose.

Your voice matters.

And sometimes healing begins not by erasing what happened, but by finding the courage to say:

“I may not have understood you then. You may not have understood me then. But perhaps we can begin understanding each other now.”

That is my journey.

That is my purpose.

And that is why I am building
FAB-U-BLESSED